The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

The first love language includes words of affirmation, “best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation” (37). However, as Chapman points out: “I am not suggesting verbal flattery in order to get your spouse to do something you want. The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires” (40). Along with the five major “languages,” there are also different dialects of these languages that describe ways in which the love languages can be expressed.

One of the dialects belonging to the language of words of affirmation is “encouraging words” (40). Words of encouragement are not just compliments, but words that inspire the loved one to greatness. Chapman uses the example of encouraging a spouse to pursue an opportunity that they might feel less than qualified for, or in which a few affirming words of support can mean the difference between apathy or success. As always though, the words have to mean something to the recipient, and not just the one speaking: “Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s